cheesecake and adulthood

giant pieces of cheesecake for no reason on a monday night, another great thing about being an adult.

This year has been a learning/growing season over here in little j land. Some of it, like the anticipation and disappointment of the Sweden year, has been here for you guys to read and walk through with me.  I  SO appreciate all the sweet comments, the prayers, the encouraging postcards, and hugs.  Some of it, like my struggle to find my career/purpose, has been too personal, too full of anxiety to write about on the internet. 

But, one thing I’ve been working through recently is my tendency to compare myself to other people and use their actions as a compass for my life.

Really, I use Christians, not Christ, as my model for living. And really, isn’t it so much easier? They’re right here, going to the same church as I’m going to, writing blogs that are similar to mine, or giving their money to the same types of things I do.  And then I think, what could Jesus know about my life? How could he know what it feels like to be a 22 year old girl who sometimes tries too hard to be hipster, who loves reading vampire books, and doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life? 

But as I’ve let other people define the way I write, date, work, and play, I start confusing other people’s values with my own. I start following these all these other rules and getting weighed down by pressure that doesn’t come from Jesus, but from myself. 

Maybe this is just a getting older/maturing thing, but recently I’ve been stepping back to reevaluate all these self-imposed pressures and deciding what I really believe.  I’ve been looking less at other believers, but looking towards Christ for approval, love, and acceptance.  Really, he DOES know what it’s like to be that girl, because he MADE her. Every emotion and every circumstance that made her the person that she is was created by him. And when I reject all that outside pressure, I feel so free! I’m free to be the person that God created ME to be, not the person my bible study leader, boss, or close friend is becoming.

Although I’m still impatient to see who little j is going to be. 

This new found freedom is pretty sweet AND makes me think that maybe becoming a grown-up isn’t so horrible after all. 

p.s. i want to write a post about the hunger games. is it way too behind the times for me to post my opinions about those books? i wanna stay hip and all that.

winter soup!

Is anyone else relieved that it FINALLY snowed in NC? I'm hoping that was mother nature getting winter out of her system and not a foreshadowing of things to come.

After oohing and ahhhing for a couple minutes, taking pictures of the snow covered cars, and having a brief but intense snowball fight (i won), I promptly lost interest in the pretty white fluff and went back to wishing it was summertime.

One of the redeeming features of the after-Christmas-winter-blues is soup. I've already made 3 or 4 different soups this winter, but this was my favy so far.    Acorn squash-pumpkin soup.

pitchas!

photo challenge part one:
14. heart

 

a v-day card from one biology nerd to another. love you jas!

15. phone

on a scale of rpatz to nick cage, how pathetic is it that i just got a touchscreen phone this year? and it makes me feel really high-tech when i use it?

16. something new

map of NYC!!!!!!  less than 2 weeks!

17. time

one of my favorite times of the day. i usually have an hour between ministry stuff in the morning and nannying in the afternoon where i can read/blog/dancearoundthehouse.

18. drink

y'all know about my love for tervis tumblers.

i feel like this post was extremely unimaginative. i'll try to be super edgy and stuff with part 2. :)

tuesday (again)

I had hoped to have a photo challenge and a recipe post done by tonight, but I ended up doing more urgent things (read: stuff for work) instead, so sorry.

Until I do get some posts together, here's something pretty I found:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead...

1Peter 1:3

i whip my hair...

If you're a girl and are involved in the blogosphere on any level, you can probably relate to this post.

If you have a Y chromosome, you are not going to get this at all. Sorry. Maybe I'll write a post about how annoying the Duke/NCSU game was last week to get my male readership back up.

haha. yeah right.

Anyway, I have a serious case of hair envy. Here are just a few of the girls I follow:

Sydney @ the daybook

jane @ see jane

kinsey @ sincerely, kinsey

  And here is me:

Do you see the problem?

I used to look like this:

Although my hair certainly wasn't fabulous by any standard, it had the potential for glamor. Plus, I'm not in college anymore, so I don't consider yoga pants and a bun "dressing up". I could actually do something attractive with Rapunzel hair this time around.

Yesterday I made Lacey look me in the eye and swear on Bruce and Kris Jenner's marriage (serious stuff) that she wouldn't let me cut my hair again, but I also need you, readers, to keep me accountable. If I pull any shenanegins and start posting pictures of Ginnifer Goodwin or Gweneth Paltrow during her bob stage, DON'T LET ME DO IT!

I'm counting on you.

hallmark holiday

I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day. I'm never home enough to enjoy overpriced flowers, I get awkward about the weird 'do we get each other gifts?' protocol, and I dislike not being able to go to a restaurant any time within this two week period because they're crowded with couples.

However, I AM lucky enough to have a sweetheart this year, and I think he's pretty awesome, so I won't be too bitter and WILL post one of my favorite mushy songs in honor of the day.

I love LOVE this song. especially the line:

"she knows which birds are singing

and the names of the trees where

they're performing in the morning"

I like to think that the AB secretly wrote it about me. 

haha. so, I hope you all have a great valentines. 

at the very least, i hope that you get to watch 'mean girls' 

(the best movie ever) and eat chocolate until you're sick.

i'm like the rabbit from alice and wonderland...

...always, always way behind where I would like to be. it's only monday, and I already feel way behind. I'm behind in the photo challenge, behind in my read-the-bible-in-a-year plan (is anyone ever on schedule with that? i was already behind the first day), and beind on quality time with some of the people i love.

in an effort to catch up, here are my pics from the last couple days...
9. front door

it was way too cold to go take a picture of the outside. my mom & i put everything we need by the front door so we won't forget, which is why there is a lab jacket hanging from the window. one time i had 3 containers of cupcakes stacked in front of the door, so i would remember them for a cru event.

10. self portrait

i didn't realize that "self portrait" was one of these until i had washed my face/taken out my contacts. praise big j for photo editing software.

11. makes you happy

clearly it's not my plans for thursday or friday... 

sister bonding on saturday (new nick cage movie??)

12. inside your closet

i couldn't resist doing two pictures for this one. a) to show you how OCD i am

and b) to show you my favorite part of my closet :) 

and lassstly...

13. blue

i was standing it the kitchen making a snack of blueberries&cream, trying to brainstorm what i could do for a blue picture...

and it hit me.

cool coffee

When I was 12, Lacey and I started the tradition of going to stay with her cool older cousin, Sumer every... well... summer.

Those summer beach trips are some of my favorite memories in our friendship, and I'm so grateful to be adopted into their family. I've learned a lot from Sumer, like the proper way to tan (one with the sun!), and as I've gotten older, have picked up a lot of her domestic habits too. Here's one of my favorites:

Cool coffee:

How to:
brew a cup of your favorite coffee (I love Dunkin Donuts Hazelnut).  while it's still hot, add one tablespoon of sugar. stir.   note: even if you don't usually sweeten your coffee (i don't), cool coffee is better with a little suga.

cool in the fridge overnight, or, if you're impatient like me, stick in the freezer for 30 minutes.

add a splash of creamer and pour over ice.

Tada! I make it as a treat on those draggy afternoons before I go pick the kiddo's up from school.

Happy Weekending!

hot/not has returned!!!!!

gopack

 HOT

tervis tumblers. expensive? yes. but well worth the money. plus, my water consumption has gone up 50%** since laceface bought me this one. --->


white men's undershirts: what did we womenfolk do before we realized that we could also wear these? pair one with jeans/yoga pants/scarf/glasses and you have instant cute outfit.


blog obsessions. my sis and i are in love with natthefatrat. read this post about her husband. she can turn the most everyday occurrence into a hilarious story. it's a gift.


halls cough drops in tropical fruit. same as all the other halls cough drops, except they don't taste like a menthol factory blew up in your sinus cavity.

A Beautiful Mess

I would never get one, but I think trendy girls with sleeve tattoos are super cool.

"Why must people kneel down to pray? If I really wanted to pray, I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd go out into a great big field all alone or into the deep, deep woods, and I'd look up into the sky- up-up-up- into that lovely blue sky that looks as if there was no end to its blueness. And then I'd just feel a prayer."

-Anne of Green Gables

NOT

miranda lambert getting married. she's supposed to write angry breakup songs for us girls forevvvvver.

being the only person in the world who hasn't read "The Hunger Games". am i lame or what? I can rent it for free from the library on my kindle, but there's a 300 person waiting list.

Madonna at the superbowl. I don't think this needs further elaboration.

being sick. i've killed a small rainforest with my tissue consumption.
--->




** 98% of statistics are made up on the spot.


for the millionth time, i'm sorry about the formatting on this post. for some reason adding different font sizes and pictures is just toooooo flippin much for blogger to handle. this could probably be remedied if i understood HTML, but i'm not that big of a nerd. yet. 

bbq chicken salad

perfect girls night dinner. pair with best friend, a Sandra Bullock movie, and last minute trips to Barnes&Noble

How to:

1. bake boneless/skinless chicken breasts for 45 min (or until white inside) with your favorite BBQ sauce on top. I love Sweet Baby Ray's.

2. wash and tear lettuce. crush tortilla chips into bite size pieces and sprinkle over lettuce. add shredded cheddar cheese.

3. strain a can of black beans and corn. add desired amount. 

4. slice the bbq chicken and add.  about half a breast for each salad should work.

4. desired salad dressing. i suggest something southwest-y like ranch or honey mustard. i used creamy parmesean.

5. serve with cornbread and TAY.

wednesday

i'm not exactly an artistic genius with my post titles this week, am i? well you wouldn't either if you were ready for it to be summer, but the weather persisted in being gray and rainy and cold.

here's a quote, a song, and a photo for today:

 "As for the things I want, they're so numerous that it would take a great deal of time to name them all so I will only mention the two most important. Please let me stay at Green Gables; and please let me be good-looking when I grow up." 

8. sun

 

the sun came out for a while this afternoon, but it didn't get any warmer

tuesday

hey friends! i'm still doing this photo challenge over at fat mum slim.  here are yesterday (since i got sidetracked with some sweden love) and today's:

6. dinner

my appetite has been kinda wack thanks to this cold, so this was dinner the other night. chamomile tea +honey.

7. button

a button that i have a love/hate relationship with.

travels

Is there anywhere in the world that you really would love to visit?

Maybe you'd love to see lions in Africa or walk the Great Wall of China?

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you might know that my original plan was to spend this year in Sweden as a missionary. Although I am now grateful that God changed my plans (and offered me so many wonderful opportunities here in my hometown instead), I would still love to visit Scandinavia at some point during my life.

I mean, just look at it...

the ice hotel

aren't swedish people so beautiful?

cold shower in the mountains

i don't even like snow and this is so beautiful...

viking burial mounds

the have a special word for getting coffee with friends!

tree hotel

stockholm syndrome!

kayak anyone?

let's not forget that this is the country that brought usVolvo, IKEA, swedish meatballs, ABBA, and saab.

What about you? Where would you go if money/time was no object?

weekend at jaclyn's

sad news, i've been sick, so my pictures today won't be terribly interesting. most of my weekend was spent blowing my nose, sleeping, and generally feeling sorry for myself. ha.

on the upside though, i found a FREE photoediting program that let's you make your pictures all cool and instagram-like. take that apple. it also let's you do simple editing (crop, brightness, ect.) and has tons of super cool effects. best part, you don't even have to download it! it's all online! check out phixr to try it out.

so please excuse the excessive hipsterness of today's pics; i'm basking in the success of beating iphone users in their own game.

3. hands

despite my general grossness, my sweet boyfriend came from raleigh to bring me cough drops and watch the entire 'lord of the rings' series with me. he didn't even get mad when i fell asleep.

4.  a stranger

food court at the mall. i felt a little "Law and Order:SVU" taking pictures of random people walking by...

5. 10am

coffee, coughdrops, and computer. checkin the blogroll before church this morning.

also: convo i just had with my college roomie...

her: enjoying watching the superbowl?

me: i'm actually watching Law&Order... you?

her: Sex and the City.

we are soulmates. :)

in which i start another blog challenge

people!

do i have your attention???

as you may have noticed, i have been inconsistent and just generally BORING on this here blog. the creative juices haven't been flowing much lately. in an attempt to post more consistently AND perhaps brainstorm interesting things to say, I'm doing the photo-a-day challenge at fat mum slim.

As you may or may not have noticed, it is already the second day of feburary. holy smokes batman! so imma do two piccy's today. also, as i don't have an iphone (am I the only one on the planet?), they won't be cute instagram-y photo's, but blurry ones taken on my LG.

1. your view today

these early spring colds are TRAGICAL (to quote anne of green gables)

2. words

becky, i hope it isn't weird that i'm posting a picture of your house; i just love this verse :)

hotel song

I realized that I'm a super bi-polar eater. Half the time, I'm uber pretentious and complain about pesticides in our produce and stuff like that, and the other half I'm eating a box of Teddy Grahams in one sitting.

I had this revelation last weekend while I was out of town and documenting the places we ate on my camera phone.

Friday night: Nana's Soul Food Kitchen

 

Saturday night: Trader Joe's

Here is me drinking out of a styrafoam (gasp!) cup and marvelling at our hotel room, which had flat screen tv's and Aveda products in the bathroom. It was pretty fly, let me tell you.

Now I'm back in the dash, dog sitting two cute little puppies that find it hilarious to eat my bagel when I set it on the couch and walk out of the room (clearly I'm not ready for pets or motherhood).  It's hard to stay mad though, when we're all snuggled up in the living room watching Parks&Rec on netflix. It's probably the best case scenario for a rainy-sick day. 

Is it Friday yet?