cheesecake and adulthood

giant pieces of cheesecake for no reason on a monday night, another great thing about being an adult.

This year has been a learning/growing season over here in little j land. Some of it, like the anticipation and disappointment of the Sweden year, has been here for you guys to read and walk through with me.  I  SO appreciate all the sweet comments, the prayers, the encouraging postcards, and hugs.  Some of it, like my struggle to find my career/purpose, has been too personal, too full of anxiety to write about on the internet. 

But, one thing I’ve been working through recently is my tendency to compare myself to other people and use their actions as a compass for my life.

Really, I use Christians, not Christ, as my model for living. And really, isn’t it so much easier? They’re right here, going to the same church as I’m going to, writing blogs that are similar to mine, or giving their money to the same types of things I do.  And then I think, what could Jesus know about my life? How could he know what it feels like to be a 22 year old girl who sometimes tries too hard to be hipster, who loves reading vampire books, and doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life? 

But as I’ve let other people define the way I write, date, work, and play, I start confusing other people’s values with my own. I start following these all these other rules and getting weighed down by pressure that doesn’t come from Jesus, but from myself. 

Maybe this is just a getting older/maturing thing, but recently I’ve been stepping back to reevaluate all these self-imposed pressures and deciding what I really believe.  I’ve been looking less at other believers, but looking towards Christ for approval, love, and acceptance.  Really, he DOES know what it’s like to be that girl, because he MADE her. Every emotion and every circumstance that made her the person that she is was created by him. And when I reject all that outside pressure, I feel so free! I’m free to be the person that God created ME to be, not the person my bible study leader, boss, or close friend is becoming.

Although I’m still impatient to see who little j is going to be. 

This new found freedom is pretty sweet AND makes me think that maybe becoming a grown-up isn’t so horrible after all. 

p.s. i want to write a post about the hunger games. is it way too behind the times for me to post my opinions about those books? i wanna stay hip and all that.

winter soup!

Is anyone else relieved that it FINALLY snowed in NC? I'm hoping that was mother nature getting winter out of her system and not a foreshadowing of things to come.

After oohing and ahhhing for a couple minutes, taking pictures of the snow covered cars, and having a brief but intense snowball fight (i won), I promptly lost interest in the pretty white fluff and went back to wishing it was summertime.

One of the redeeming features of the after-Christmas-winter-blues is soup. I've already made 3 or 4 different soups this winter, but this was my favy so far.    Acorn squash-pumpkin soup.

pitchas!

photo challenge part one:
14. heart

 

a v-day card from one biology nerd to another. love you jas!

15. phone

on a scale of rpatz to nick cage, how pathetic is it that i just got a touchscreen phone this year? and it makes me feel really high-tech when i use it?

16. something new

map of NYC!!!!!!  less than 2 weeks!

17. time

one of my favorite times of the day. i usually have an hour between ministry stuff in the morning and nannying in the afternoon where i can read/blog/dancearoundthehouse.

18. drink

y'all know about my love for tervis tumblers.

i feel like this post was extremely unimaginative. i'll try to be super edgy and stuff with part 2. :)

tuesday (again)

I had hoped to have a photo challenge and a recipe post done by tonight, but I ended up doing more urgent things (read: stuff for work) instead, so sorry.

Until I do get some posts together, here's something pretty I found:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead...

1Peter 1:3

i whip my hair...

If you're a girl and are involved in the blogosphere on any level, you can probably relate to this post.

If you have a Y chromosome, you are not going to get this at all. Sorry. Maybe I'll write a post about how annoying the Duke/NCSU game was last week to get my male readership back up.

haha. yeah right.

Anyway, I have a serious case of hair envy. Here are just a few of the girls I follow:

Sydney @ the daybook

jane @ see jane

kinsey @ sincerely, kinsey

  And here is me:

Do you see the problem?

I used to look like this:

Although my hair certainly wasn't fabulous by any standard, it had the potential for glamor. Plus, I'm not in college anymore, so I don't consider yoga pants and a bun "dressing up". I could actually do something attractive with Rapunzel hair this time around.

Yesterday I made Lacey look me in the eye and swear on Bruce and Kris Jenner's marriage (serious stuff) that she wouldn't let me cut my hair again, but I also need you, readers, to keep me accountable. If I pull any shenanegins and start posting pictures of Ginnifer Goodwin or Gweneth Paltrow during her bob stage, DON'T LET ME DO IT!

I'm counting on you.

hallmark holiday

I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day. I'm never home enough to enjoy overpriced flowers, I get awkward about the weird 'do we get each other gifts?' protocol, and I dislike not being able to go to a restaurant any time within this two week period because they're crowded with couples.

However, I AM lucky enough to have a sweetheart this year, and I think he's pretty awesome, so I won't be too bitter and WILL post one of my favorite mushy songs in honor of the day.

I love LOVE this song. especially the line:

"she knows which birds are singing

and the names of the trees where

they're performing in the morning"

I like to think that the AB secretly wrote it about me. 

haha. so, I hope you all have a great valentines. 

at the very least, i hope that you get to watch 'mean girls' 

(the best movie ever) and eat chocolate until you're sick.

i'm like the rabbit from alice and wonderland...

...always, always way behind where I would like to be. it's only monday, and I already feel way behind. I'm behind in the photo challenge, behind in my read-the-bible-in-a-year plan (is anyone ever on schedule with that? i was already behind the first day), and beind on quality time with some of the people i love.

in an effort to catch up, here are my pics from the last couple days...
9. front door

it was way too cold to go take a picture of the outside. my mom & i put everything we need by the front door so we won't forget, which is why there is a lab jacket hanging from the window. one time i had 3 containers of cupcakes stacked in front of the door, so i would remember them for a cru event.

10. self portrait

i didn't realize that "self portrait" was one of these until i had washed my face/taken out my contacts. praise big j for photo editing software.

11. makes you happy

clearly it's not my plans for thursday or friday... 

sister bonding on saturday (new nick cage movie??)

12. inside your closet

i couldn't resist doing two pictures for this one. a) to show you how OCD i am

and b) to show you my favorite part of my closet :) 

and lassstly...

13. blue

i was standing it the kitchen making a snack of blueberries&cream, trying to brainstorm what i could do for a blue picture...

and it hit me.